During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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