Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
