Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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