TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize
