Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
this hospital has no fireball
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize