i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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