Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
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