Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
My feet surprised me
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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