this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
