i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
