i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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