Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
