Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
That accounts for only three of the penises
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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