I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
