I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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