oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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