What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
