So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
