apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Who did Billy Mays play for?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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