how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
