At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
