D3 body, D1 cock
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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