Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
So squirting runs in the family.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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