The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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