Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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