belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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