i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
