He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
