Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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