I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
