so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
