So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
