I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
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