I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
