I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize