Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
not ubering you a puppy
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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