we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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