His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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