Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
The struggles of a small town man whore
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
