lets start a swedish sibling band together
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
