Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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