laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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