We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
