Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
