I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
