i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
