I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
