He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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