How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
my shit smells like andre
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Randomize
