You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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