you would pick up someone in the library
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
