its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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