You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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