Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
