He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
