so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
